The irony of his last name is not lost on me.

Through a rather long drawn out course of events involving me, a research paper assignment, and very little sleep, I have ended up with the task of writing a large paper on how Bernie Madoff's Ponzi scheme contributed to the economic collapse. Unfortunately, I could care less.

My thesis is due tomorrow and I'm nowhere close to anything. Bernie scammed a large number of people out of a significant amount of money. That much I know. The rest is a little hazy since, again, I really wish I cared more.

I'm also concerned that my teacher actually has no idea what a research paper is. Or, alternatively, I have no idea what a research paper is. One of us is doing something incorrectly, that much is certain.